In the wake of the recent news of Ebola being inside the United States, Grundy County officials have already been working hard at putting into place a plan of action. A plan that will be carried out well before the "worst of it" happens in order to make sure that even if the rest of the world goes to hell, the fine folks at Grundy County will be safe and sound.
Officials have set aside a "number". What the number is nobody is really sure, but if that magic number of people outside Grundy but within the USA are diagnosed with Ebola, Grundy will activate the plan; Code Name Euphoria, to protect this great county. If/when plan "Euphoria" goes into effect, the following will take place immediately.
- Grundy will no longer be a county in Tennessee, but will from this point on be recognized as a separate region. We could say country depending on in the wake of this possible epidemic another one is left.
- A wall will be built around Grundy to keep people in and to make sure no "outsiders" come in. This takes away the possibility of infection. Until the wall is built, mobs of gunmen will control the Grundy lines. Anyone trying to sneak in or out will be shot on sight. Beersheba, Pelham, and that part of Monteagle that is kinda Grundy but not really will be excluded from Euphoria and shutout.
- Black people will be shot on sight just because this IS Grundy.
- No other race besides Hispanics and the occasional Asian will be kept inside, but these people will be tested for symptoms and locked in early into the building of the wall. This won't be much of a change from the way things are now.
- Grundy will no longer recognize money. A new currency will be created as Grundy builds its own government inside the wall.
- An election race will be held between all officials to appoint the KING of Grundy. The King won't have a term, but will be permanent.
- Food will be grown in Grundy. No outside food will be allowed inside the wall.
- A new sports leagues will be created because they know this is a drastic change and no sports in Grundy would be unbearable in a time like this.
- All pets will be recognized as suitable food.
- The day Euphoria is declared, Grundy combat/cleanup squad will kick off this life changing event by running the ol' number 6 on the closes counties before settling in for the long haul back home.
- GCTV will begin airing new locally produced programming to makeup for the fact you will no longer be allowed to even have internet or TV access to the outside contaminated world. Dancing with the Grundy Locals, Bryant Dynasty, Turkey the Liberal Hunter, and Camo is the New Black have already begun production just in case.
More info will be posted as we receive it here, but we are told to inform you that you shouldn't worry about this plan or Ebola in beautiful Grundy County. Don't go crossing any bridges before you get there. Just keep in mind that in the super rare chance worse comes to worse, Grundy has a plan in place and will act asap ensuring the safety to everyone who calls Grundy home.
No comments:
Post a Comment